


Super Smash Spiders

by KeroZombie



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, I take some creative liberties, PRO GAMER MOVES, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, i love this game, not too many
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29579124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeroZombie/pseuds/KeroZombie
Summary: Peni always beats Noir at video games. She'd like to let him win for once, but she knows he'd notice if she did. So she decides to make a super powered controller to help him in secret. After all, what could go wrong? It's just a controller... right?You know what they say about great power...
Relationships: Peni Parker & Peter Benjamin Parker, Spider-Fam - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	Super Smash Spiders

**Author's Note:**

> This was MEANT to be one of my 'Peni and Noir Drabbles' but then it became 4700 words long! I'm still working on the next chapters for my two ongoing Spider-Verse fics - I got sidelined a bit by the International Fanworks Day challenge (no regrets) but now I'm back on track. When this idea popped into my head though, I was like oh man, this HAS to be written - so I wrote it!!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy the fic :)
> 
> ALMOST FORGOT! The inspiration for this is partly [this amazing choreographed fight made for Smash Bros Brawl!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFT8ti5JIp4) I highly recommend you watch it just to experience the TRUE POTENTIAL of the game's ultimate super-boosted form.

Noir wasn't very good at video games. Whenever Peni roped him into playing with her he lost every time. Whether it was Mariokart or Smash Bros, Tekken or Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, the result was always the same. She liked to win, make no mistake about that, but not if it was at the expense of Noir's dignity. She considered sneakily letting him win a few rounds here or there, but not even a child genius would be able to pull off a stunt like that against the Great Depression's most keen-eyed detective.

I mean, it wasn't fair, really. How was someone from the 1930s supposed to beat a gamer from the year 3145? Then she got an idea.

_If I mod his controller, I can amplify his skill without having to play any differently myself._

So she did just that, once for every system, starting with the PS4 controller. With a few tweaks to the joysticks, a fresh coat of bioreceptors over the outside, some pre-programmed combo chips and other clever tricks, she upgraded the standard model to be as boosted as it could possibly be without changing its appearance. Then she did it again for the Switch, then once more for the Xbox One. The upgrade was straightforward: if Noir played a game, almost any game, he'd absolutely crush at it. And, if she'd done it right, it would feel to him as if he'd done it all by himself.

_Perfect!_

Now all she needed was to swap the unmodified controllers for her special ones. She got her opportunity a few days later, at Aunt May's house in Miles's universe.

Miles had brought his Switch along with him, as usual, complete with his downloaded copy of Super Smash Bros Ultimate and, crucially, two 'pro' controllers. Little did he know that soon, one of those controllers really _would_ make its user a pro at the game.

While Miles and the others, Noir included, chatted with Aunt May in the kitchen, Peni snuck off and quickly thwipped one of the controllers into her backpack. Then she placed her modded controller on the floor where the normal one used to be. It looked nearly identical to its unmodified cousin, which was wired up nearby. The only difference, almost impossible to notice with the naked eye, was a little white mark on part of its black casing, caused by a simple printing error. You'd have to be looking for it to see it. Not even Noir would be _that_ alert.

_I hope…_

A young voice sprung up behind her.

"Watcha lookin' at, Peni?"

She span around, panic racing across her chest.

"Miles! I was just uh…"

Her mind went blank. Thankfully Miles was totally oblivious.

"Can't wait to get started, huh?" he said with a smile, "You that keen to whoop my butt?"

"I just like retro games."

"Retro, huh? If I'm retro, Peter B must be ancient history."

"Hey!" called a voice from the other room, "I heard that!"

Now the rest of the gang joined them, taking their positions on May's well-worn furniture.

B pointed at Miles, "Don't think you can insult me behind my back and get away with it, squirt."

Miles turned on the Switch with a smirk.

"Don't know what you're talking about, B."

As the TV turned on, Peni heard Noir call out from behind them, "You kids playing more of those video games, eh?"

_Now's my chance._

"Sure are! You wanna join us?"

"Why not."

Suddenly Gwen was sitting on the floor beside them, "Got room for one more?"

Miles jumped in, "As long as you don't mind using one of the joycons. I got dibs on this bad boy."

He reached for the modified pro controller. Peni froze. She needed to stop him. But if she made a scene and gave it to Noir, he would _definitely_ know something was up once he started winning.

_Oh no oh no oh no oh no-_

There was nothing she could do. In the blink of an eye it was in his hands. Her plan was ruined.

_Unless…_

"Miles," she began, saying whatever words popped into her head, "How about we, say…do a uh, like, a knockout tournament?"

"A knockout tournament?"

"Winner stays on. One-on-one."

Miles and Gwen looked at each other. Then Gwen smirked, "I'm game. I'm not letting you two beat me this time!"

Now they could _all_ use the pro controllers. All Peni needed to do was make sure Noir was always the one with the _modded_ controller.

"Okay," Miles said, still looking at Gwen, "I'll face Noir, you face Peni. Then the winners face each other to decide the champ."

Ham's voice rang out from behind them, "And the winner of _that_ faces me!"

Miles laughed, "Okay, sure, why not. How about you, B? You in?"

Everyone turned to B. He raised an eyebrow, "If you think I'm gonna embarrass myself in that game you can forget it. I play Smash Bros Melee and _only_ Smash Bros Melee."

Aunt May gave him an amused look.

"What?" he said, "Come on, May… don't make me do this."

"I'm not making you do anything…" with a mischievous glint in her eye she looked at the younger spiders seated on the floor, "…but I'd like to show you kids what I can do before you're done playing. If that's okay?"

Somehow everything had got _much_ more complicated all of a sudden. But Peni's goal remained the same: keep Noir on the modded controller. As long as he had that controller in his hands, there was no _way_ he could lose.

Except that right now the controller was in _Miles's_ hands.

"Miles," Peni said, "maybe we should give Noir the pro controller."

Miles gave her a puzzled look, "There's another one right there. Is it not charged or something?"

Before Peni could reply, Noir swooped down and picked it up, "Looks fine to me. The little light means it's working, right?"

"Exactly," Miles confirmed, "You still remember the buttons?"

"Mostly."

His mask and hat were off, but his goggles were on. They protected his eyes from the stark colors of the TV screen.

_I'm so sorry, Noir…_

She'd meant to make him feel more competent at video games, but now she'd set him up to fail in the most complete way possible. The modded controller would make any user play at their maximum possible efficiency. Miles was already a competent Smash Bros player. Noir didn't stand a chance.

The stage select screen came up first. Miles picked Final Destination ("Cos this is where it ends for you, Gumshoe"), then came the time to pick characters. Miles selected Fox, and Noir selected Falco.

Peni tugged on his sleeve, "Don't you prefer Game and Watch?"

Noir looked over his shoulder, "We all gotta try new things sometimes, doll."

As the match timer counted down, Peni felt sick to her stomach.

"Three," the TV said.

 _It's fine,_ she reassured herself, _I'll make sure he gets the good controller next time._

"Two!" now the others were counting down along with it.

_I should've just left it alone. It's not like winning is such a big deal anyway._

"One!"

_At least he won't be losing to **me** again…_

"Go!"

Before the red letters had even faded from the screen Miles was off, zipping towards Noir with Fox's side special, 'Illusion'. To Peni's astonishment, Noir did the same with Falco's equivalent move. The two players traded blows, grabs and deflection blasts. Both characters had similar movesets, which made them an even match. Players of a similar skill level would be about even under most circumstances. Of course, Miles had the modded controller.

But somehow it didn't seem to matter.

"Holy moly," Ham exclaimed as Noir and Miles darted across the screen like fireworks in the sky. They were moving so fast that Peni couldn't even keep up with their combos.

_How the heck is Noir cancelling into his up special like that?_

Miles was breaking a serious sweat. He never played this fast, or this precisely. Peni knew, Peni remembered very well how he'd usually rush in with risky attacks and get punished. But with the controller all his blows hit perfectly… and so did Noir's.

_How…?_

There was only one modded controller. Of that, she was absolutely certain. With wide eyes she watched as Noir and Miles flew off the stage and started battling in midair in ways she never knew were possible. They shot lasers and grabbed and flew into each other till they were both beneath the stage, far from safety, mere inches from the sub-stage void and instant death.

"Get him, Miles!" B cheered.

Ham joined in, "Come on Noir! You can do it!"

Gwen was as gobsmacked as Peni. Then finally it happened: Noir got blasted into the abyss, losing a stock. Two more and he'd lose the match.

"Nooo!" Ham lamented.

Miles was ecstatic, "Man, I need to play as Fox more often!"

Noir cracked his knuckles as he respawned on a glowing platform, "Time to dance."

He dropped down to the stage, activating his taunt as Miles fired off a volley of laser shots. But Fox's lasers were mere tickle beams compared to Falco's. With just one blast he knocked Miles off his feet. Then he charged forward, deflecting in mid-air with his forcefield as Miles desperately tried to whittle his defenses down in time.

"Go Noir! Go!" Ham screamed as Noir kicked Miles off the stage. The midair battle they fell into was even more intense than the first, but unlike the first time Miles was very clearly losing it.

_How the heck is Noir doing this?_

With a few carefully timed deflection blasts and a flaming hot up special, Noir sent Miles off-screen and into the kill zone. Then he gracefully air-dodged back to the stage's edge, grabbing on and pulling himself up. Miles respawned and instantly came for his opponent with a series of side specials and midair dropkicks. But it was no use. Noir dodged them all. Peni watched as her carefully choreographed chain grab sequence, theoretically inescapable by a normal human being, was thwarted by a frame perfect uppercut by Noir. Now Miles was airborne, and not in the good way. Noir jumped up, knocked him back, teleported after him and launched him even further. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, silently watching the action unfold. Peni realized she was holding her breath.

Suspended over the void and falling fast, Miles shot himself up, up and away from the brink with his up special. But Noir was waiting, and with a simple down kick he spiked Miles into oblivion.

"Damn, Noir!" Miles exclaimed, "When did you get so good at Smash?"

Noir adjusted his goggles, "Been practicing with Peni."

_No you haven't! Not like this!_

Miles had only one stock left, compared to Noir's two. Coming back from a stock disadvantage was hard at the best of times, but with how Noir was playing…

_I don't understand it. In the past he couldn't stop confusing the B button for the X button. Now he's timing his shield counters with microsecond precision._

Miles leapt into the air off of his respawn platform. Noir rose to meet him. Their punches were so perfectly timed that they cancelled each other out in a flurry of parries, each one flashing hot white - the game's way of indicating that you just pulled off something remarkable. They darted back and forth in the air, zipping after each other with their specials. In the middle of mid-air laser fight, Noir attempted a roundhouse kick. Miles dodged behind him. Finally he had a chance to strike. Not wasting a second, he stomped Noir to the ground and then, in a ball of flames, used his special to crash down on top of him. Noir's damage meter (the equivalent of an HP bar) wasn't looking good. One strong smash from Miles and he'd be off screen and into the blast zone.

_Miles could still take this match._

Not that it mattered. Whichever of them won, Peni didn't stand a chance. On the plus side, Noir _had_ to be feeling more competent at the game right about now.

As if reading her thoughts, the monochrome detective said, "You ain't taking me down that easy, Miles."

He hopped up off the floor and repelled Miles away with his deflector shield. Miles dashed towards him and rushed him down with a blur of punches and kicks. Noir was over the edge, hurtling towards the abyss. Miles dived down after him, firing laser after laser, but Noir was too quick. He zipped through them and knocked Miles away. Now, just like at the start, they were both under the stage again. A single wrong move from either of them would mean certain death - but moreso for Miles.

_It's a big risk to take with only stock._

Peter B broke the silence, "You got this, Miles! I believe in you!"

Gwen joined in, "That's it, Miles!"

Ham countered, "Finish him, Noir! Use your flame thingy!"

Noir's mouth was a firm grimace as his fingers raced across the buttons of his unmodified pro controller. Miles, whose face was still rigid from the sheer intensity of his concentration, barely had to move his fingers at all by comparison - the modded controller was guiding his muscles to move with maximum possible efficiency, creating combos out of nothing with just a few well-timed flicks of the joystick or a single button press. She'd designed it so well that he wasn't even consciously processing the fact that his hands weren't doing what they normally would.

_Noir really is doing all this by himself…_

Peni was so shocked she could only watch in silence, her jaw slack, her eyes wide. Somehow the impossible had happened. Noir had just… got good. The man who couldn't get past stage one of Super Mario Bros was now chaining special move after special move at a speed that was nearing the point of being imperceptible to human eyes - and he didn't even need her help to do it.

"You really are amazing, Noir…" she said under her breath.

Peni thought she saw his mouth twitch for just a moment. Then, still suspended over the abyss, trapped below the underside of the stage, Noir unleashed a ferocious combo onto Miles. Noir kicked his head, punched his gut. Miles dodged, and Noir followed. There was no escape. With a swift midair kick Noir rammed him up into the underside of the stage. Only a last-second up special saved Miles from being repelled into the void.

"Is that the best you got?" he taunted.

"No," Noir replied calmly, "but this is."

He thrust himself down, dragging Miles down towards the never-ending nothingness.

"What!?"

"I've got two stocks, kid. You have one."

Arm in arm, a mass of fur and feathers, they fell beyond the boundary and into the blast zone. With a final, blinding explosion, the match ended, and the TV cheerily declared: 'GAME'.

Noir adjusted his goggles, "Guess that means I win."

Peni looked around the room. Everyone was speechless.

Miles put his controller down on the floor, "I don't know what kinda crazy training you and Peni did to get you this good Noir, but y'all gonna have to invite me over sometime, cos that was _nuts_."

Noir tapped Peni on the shoulder, "You're up doll."

He handed her the unmodded controller. Thinking on her feet, she quickly picked up the _modded_ controller as well, and handed the normal one to Gwen.

_Sorry Gwen._

The only way to give Noir the correct controller was to do it herself… not that he needed it anymore.

_Maybe I **should** let Gwen have it._

But it was too late now. Gwen was already sitting next to her, picking her character (Pac Man). Peni selected Isabelle, from Animal Crossing, and the match began. Though she tried her best not to win by too much, the power controller was so good at its job that she couldn't _help_ but defeat Gwen with two stocks remaining.

"I'm never gonna beat you, am I?" Gwen lamented as she stood up and took a spot on the sofa next to Ham.

The moment of truth had arrived. Noir, well-rested and refreshed with a cool egg cream, sat down next to Peni. He picked up the wrong controller.

"Actually," Peni began, "Can I use that one? I'll have to start on the right-hand side of the stage if I stick with this one, and I prefer to start on the left, if I can."

Peni knew he wouldn't refuse a request from her.

"Sure. Do I just hand it to you, or is there some fancy stuff you gotta do to let it know I'm not using it anymore?"

She still couldn't believe this was the man who only moments ago had totally trashed a super-boosted Miles.

"Yep! Just hand it to me and I'll get it all set up."

Noir held his controller out to her. Before she passed hers over she checked, as sneakily as she could, that the tell-tale white mark was where it should be. Sure enough, it was.

_This is **definitely** the modded controller._

He took it and faced the screen. Peni made sure the game recognized the swap had happened, then she picked Isabelle again. She waited for Noir to pick Falco.

He picked Game and Watch.

"Game and Watch!?"

Noir looked at her, "I always pick Game and Watch."

"But-"

"Can't beat good old-fashioned black and white."

She didn't argue. Maybe his Game and Watch was even _better_ than his Falco.

_Now that's a terrifying thought…_

The match started. Three stocks each, Final Destination. At last, everything was going to plan.

_Let's see how much he beats me by._

Normally, Noir would start a round by walking forward and throwing hot bacon and sausages at her with Game and Watch's special move. But that was the old Noir. Who knew what Noir was capable of now that he'd become a fighting game god? Peni steeled herself. Readied her fingers to quickly dodge any incoming aerial attacks or sneaky grabs.

Noir walked forward. Peni waited. Then it happened: Noir busted out the frying pan and began hurling hot food at her, same as always.

_Huh…?_

Peni used Isabelle's side special to throw out a fishing line, trying to snag Noir in a trap. It was an obvious move, totally telegraphed. A competent player would leap over it, or try and attack with projectiles. If he leapt over the bait she could reel the line in and potentially catch him midair. Or if that didn't work, she could always block his attack directly with a shield and deliver a counter-move afterwards.

Noir continued to dutifully assault her with rashers of bacon, steadily ambling forward one step at a time till finally he walked straight into her trap. Without hesitation she reeled him in and tossed him over the edge of the stage.

_He's trying to trick me._

Now that he was forced to react, the modifications Peni installed would be bound to kick in. There were all kinds of combos he could do once he was in the air, even from his disadvantageous position off the side of the stage. Her best plan was to take him out pre-emptively, though she knew that with the controller in his hands that was going to be a near-impossible task.

Nonetheless Peni dived down after him, preparing to spike him into the blast zone. She expected him to dodge in anticipation of her attack. Instead he did an up special at _exactly_ the wrong time, landing perfectly on the tip of her down attack (which for Isabelle is a giant stack of turnips). The screen flashed as the turnips connected with Game and Watch's head. In the blink of an eye he was launched straight down into oblivion. Peni ballooned herself back up onto the stage with her up special. She was winning already, and he'd barely left a scratch on her.

_This shouldn't be possible._

Peni looked over at Noir. His face was stone still in concentration. His hands were covered in sweat, though his fingers weren't working as hard as they were before.

_Naturally. With the mods, he doesn't need to. It should be effortless._

Effortlessly he strolled towards her again, frying pan in hand. Peni began to wonder if she'd programmed the device incorrectly. Perhaps it just didn't recognize Game and Watch?

_But he won as Falco without my help._

She couldn't just let him win. He'd know if she did that. But that didn't mean she had to try her hardest. She threw out her fishing line again. After all, if Noir could try the same trick twice, why couldn't she?

She had to physically force her mouth closed as he walked into her trap for a second time, the _exact_ same way he did the first time. Just like the first time, she chucked him over the edge. And _also_ just like the first time, she dove down after him, he rose up to meet her, and with inhumanly perfect timing his head connected with the bottom of her turnips.

Now she was two stocks up. One more death and it'd be game over for Noir.

"Can't get anything past you, can I?" he said, his face still focused on the screen.

Finally the penny dropped.

_He's letting me win…_

Despite everything she'd done to guarantee his victory, Noir had somehow found a way to throw the match in her favor. She began to wonder: was this even the first time he'd lost on purpose? Were all of her wins because he was going easy on her?

"Peni?"

His goggles shone dull grey in the TV's synthetic light. He looked concerned.

She didn't even realize that she'd zoned out. She turned back to the TV, "Shoulda taken your chance while you had it, Noir. You're two stocks down."

"You weren't concentrating, and I don't fight dirty. Besides, it's not like I have a hope in hell of beating you anyway."

Peni gritted her teeth, "We'll see about that."

She refused to win by default. If she was gonna beat him, she wanted to beat him at his best. As he pulled out his frying pan for the third time, Peni simply walked towards him. With each flaming food item her damage meter veered further and further into the red.

"Aren't you gonna shield yourself from my bacon rashers?"

"I know what I'm doing."

He put the frying pan away. For a moment they just stood there facing each other. Then he grabbed her.

_Go on Noir, throw me._

But he didn't. He merely held her in place. With enough time, even if she didn't press a single button, the grab would wear itself out and she'd be free again. Which is what happened. Naturally, at the exact moment the grab got released, Noir frame-perfectly grabbed her again.

"You're really making this hard for me, doll."

"You're a tough opponent. You might even win some stocks back."

"I don't think so."

"I _do_ think so."

The grab auto-released and Peni dodged just in time to avoid the re-grab. This was her only chance. She ran. Ran for the edge of the stage.

"Peni, what are you doing!?"

She jumped off, plummeting towards the sub-stage void. Noir leapt after her.

"Noir, no!" she screamed as he swooped through the air.

"Use your up special!" he barked.

"No!"

"Use it!"

"You use _yours_!"

"Fine."

In an act of malicious compliance he plunged further down towards the depths till he was just beneath her. _Then_ he used his up special. It connected in just the right way to propel her back to the stage's edge, where her character automatically grabbed on. She was safe. Noir, however, was not.

"You dummy, you only had one stock left!" she scolded as he passed into oblivion and exploded into tiny fragments of data.

"GAME!" the TV declared victoriously.

Noir took off his hat, "You win again, doll."

Peni glared at him in silence, completely lost for words. Peter B coughed awkwardly in the background.

"Ham…" he said, "You're up next, right?"

Ham scratched his head, "I think I'll pass if it's all the same to you guys."

Peni heard someone crack their knuckles.

"I guess that means it's my turn," came Aunt May's voice.

Peni's eyes widened in shock. Noir stood up and handed May the boosted controller.

"Don't go easy on her," he advised, "she's a lot tougher than she looks."

_Just you wait, Noir. When we're alone I'm gonna-_

"What do I press to select my character?" Aunt May asked in a gentle voice.

Peni cleared her head. Her lecture for Noir could wait.

"Push this one here… that's right, then _that_ one. You see the stick? Yeah, that's how you do it."

"Ooooh! I think I recognize this one!" she cooed as she selected Pikachu.

_Pikachu, huh?_

Then the match began. Peni, still playing as Isabelle, planted a lloid rocket trap in the ground and dashed forward. Immediately May zipped into the air and did a lightning blast. Then another. And another.

_Uh oh._

Peni was being chained up and up into the sky. They got so high up that they were literally off-screen. With one final lightning bolt to the face Peni flew off beyond the blast zone and exploded into little pieces. She was a stock down with nothing to show for it.

The controller was only meant to bring out the latent potential of the person using it. It had combos programmed in, but it didn't play the game _for_ you. For Aunt May to be so dominant, it had to mean…

_She's secretly a god at Smash Bros!?_

Peni respawned and immediately May was all over her, headbutting her and shocking her and chain-grabbing her till her damage meter was tomato red. Then she hit Peni with a full-frontal shockwave and off she went once again into the blast zone. May still had all three stocks, and exactly 0% damage on her meter. In other words, she hadn't taken a single hit.

"God _damn_ , Aunt May!" Peter B exclaimed.

"Peter!" she chided, "Language!"

Peni took her opportunity and lunged forward with a fishing rod while May was distracted. The rod hit. Peni threw May in the air. Peni intended to catch her with a well timed up-turnip strike. But May had other plans. As she soared overhead she called down a lightning strike and dodged out of the way _just_ in time for the bolt to rip through Peni.

_No!_

Then came another. And another. Once again Peni was laddered up towards the empty sky.

_No no no no no-_

But it was too late. She had no hope in heck of beating super-boosted Aunt May. As she flew off screen and got shocked beyond the blast zone for the last time, Peni hung her head. She'd created a monster.

"GAME!" cheered the TV.

"Yay! That was fun!" grinned Aunt May, "So who's next?"

The question hung in the air like a lead balloon.

_I'm sorry everyone._

There was no escape now. Super-boosted Aunt May was here to stay. Only one question remained: who was going to be her next victim?

"Peter 'B'," she said, "Come on. You haven't played yet. Don't you want a game with your Aunt from another universe?"

"Well, you know, it's… I'm not good at games anymore."

"Poppycock! If I can do it, so can you!"

B glanced at Peni, his eyes burning with panic. Did he know? Did he know that she was responsible for this nightmare?

He sighed, "I guess one match can't hurt."

Peni solemnly handed him the controller. She tried to say 'I'm sorry' with her eyes, but she couldn't tell if he understood. He sat down on the floor, resigned to his fate. From the sofa, Peni watched the inevitable unfold. B was effortlessly crushed, as was everyone else May challenged. By the end of the day the only person _not_ giving Peni stink-eye was Noir.

"These video games sure are something," he said casually as he ate one of Aunt May's homemade wheatcakes.

No one asked Peni about the controller. Maybe they were afraid she'd tell them that in fact she hadn't done anything, that Aunt May was just that good. At the end of the day Peni collected it while no one was looking. Then she threw all of the modded controllers into an Oscorp incinerator.

They never spoke of that day again.


End file.
